Guarding the Tongue
by Abu Bakr Stark
"A man says something that Allah detests,
over which he does not think twice,
for which he is thrown into Hell."
Unfortunately, a visible character trait of many young people today is a loose tongue! Schoolyards and teen hangouts are full of boasting, swearing, lying, sex talk, running others down, fecal language, and every other sin of the tongue one can imagine. Children constantly say terrible things to others and have little to no self-control. Many adults do the same and even earn large sums of money in the media and the music industry doing so. It seems that people take very lightly what comes out of their mouths, although words can cause greater harm than swords. Most sins that the son of Adam commits are sins of the tongue. No other organ commits more sins than the tongue.
The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him say what is good or remain silent."
The Prophet (s.a.w.) was asked: "O Messenger of Allah, who is the best of the Muslims?" And he said: "The one from whose tongue and hand the other Muslims are safe!"
"The perfection of a person's Islam includes leaving be what does not concern him."
"All the words of a person are directed against him, except enjoining good, forbidding what is shameful, and the remembrance of Allah the Exalted."
Imam Nawawi says: "Every legally responsible person should say nothing unless there is a clear benefit in speaking. If speaking and silence have equal benefits, it is Sunna to remain silent, because permitted speech quickly leads to unlawful or reprehensible speech, as almost always happens — and there is no substitute for safety."
Ghiba (Backbiting)
"O you who believe! Avoid frequent suspicion; for some suspicion is sin. And do not spy and do not backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would surely abhor it. So fear Allah. Truly, Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful."
"Woe to every slanderer and mocker..."
The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: "The slanderer will not enter Paradise!"
"The Muslim is the brother of the Muslim. He does not betray him, does not lie to him, and does not fail to come to his aid. Everything of a Muslim is inviolable for his Muslim brother: his reputation, his property, his blood. God-consciousness is here (pointing to his heart). It is sufficiently shameful for someone to run down his Muslim brother."
(49:12, 104:1)
It is not only forbidden to commit backbiting, it is also forbidden to listen to it, and even to engage in it in one's heart — that is, not to control one's thoughts should they arise within one!
Of course, in certain situations it is unavoidable, and therefore also permitted, to expose the faults of another, such as in court, to warn others, etc.
"Rumour Mill"
A Muslim should not tell anything about others unless it is important. It is forbidden to tell anything about someone that the latter does not want others to know, unless again this is unavoidable.
The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: "It suffices as a lie for someone to repeat everything he hears."
Lying
"Truly, Allah does not guide the one who is excessive (and) a liar."
"The signs of a hypocrite are three: when he speaks, he lies; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; and when something is entrusted to him, he embezzles it."
(40:28)
One also sins when one lies unintentionally, because one acts without thinking:
"And do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge. Truly, the ear and the eye and the heart — they will all be called to account."
The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: "Speak the truth, even if it is bitter!"
(17:36)
Idle Chatter
Ibn Mas'ud (r.a.) heard the Prophet (s.a.w.) say: "The greatest in sins on the Day of Judgment will be the one who spoke the most about idle and immoral things."
Hypocrisy
Hypocrisy is defined as a discrepancy between a person's outward speech and inner state.
"Truly, the hypocrites are in the lowest depth of the fire of Hell, and you will find no helper for them."
The Prophet (s.a.w.) explained that the most despicable people on the Day of Judgment would be those "with the two faces" (the hypocrites).
(4:145)
Sarcasm, Mockery, and Irony
Sarcasm, mockery, and irony are forbidden when this runs someone down.
"Those who find fault with those believers who give alms voluntarily, as well as those who find nothing (to give) but their own effort, and therefore mock them — Allah will repay them their mockery, and a painful punishment will be meted out to them."
(9:79)
Joking, Cracking Jokes
Joking and cracking jokes are of course also forbidden when this runs someone down. Even if it does not run anyone down, one should not engage in it excessively:
The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: "Avoid excessive laughter, for too much laughter kills the heart."
Debating, Using Harsh Expressions
It is good to discuss in order to bring the truth to light through the exchange of arguments. All too often, however, a discussion degenerates into a debate where the primary concern is "being right"! Such a debate is generally ego-driven and leads to bad feelings and even hatred toward others! It is Satan's goal to stir up debates and discord.
"Satan has given up hope that he will be worshipped on the Arabian Peninsula, but he strives to sow discord among the believers."
In a debate, harsh expressions are generally used, which are only permitted when one rightfully reprimands someone and the reprimand with gentle words has no effect.
Obscene, Vulgar Language
A refined manner of expression is the mark of a Muslim, as the Qur'an teaches:
"And if you divorce them before you have touched them, but after you have set a bridal gift for them."
"And how could you take it away, when you have already lain with one another, and they have made a firm covenant with you?"
(2:237, 4:21)
Common expressions such as "What a crock of sh..!" belong in the toilet and not in the mouth!
Frightening Others
"Whoever frightens a believer, Allah will not protect him from the terror of the Day of Judgment, as a just recompense."
Disrespectful Language toward Parents
"And your Lord has commanded: 'Worship none but Him, and (show) kindness to parents. If one parent or both reach old age with you, then do not say 'Ugh!' to them and do not rebuke them, but speak to them in a respectful manner."
(17:23)
Respectful language toward parents is increasingly becoming a scarce commodity, and people now speak to them as to a buddy.
Speaking while the Qur'an is Being Recited
"And when the Qur'an is recited, then listen and remain silent in attentiveness, so that you may find mercy."
(7:204)
For this reason it is bad to have the Qur'an sounding from mosque loudspeakers and playing as "background music," as unfortunately is often the case in "Muslim countries," since one thereby forces everyone to listen!
Boasting
"So do not declare yourselves pure. He knows best those who (fear) Him."
"Allah has inspired in me that you should all be humble toward one another, that no one transgresses against another or behaves arrogantly."
(53:32)
Many other sins of the tongue could still be mentioned, but this should suffice to admonish us to pay attention to our words! People who pay attention to their words enjoy many advantages. Those who are known for their pleasant, kind, and good speech, and who avoid unnecessary and negative talk, reap the respect and trust of others. Friends will feel safe, and people will find it easier to do business with them. They will enjoy a good reputation. They will hear more good things and thus learn more, and will surely have a great and illuminated heart. There are no negative effects in guarding the tongue, and everyone can learn it with diligence and effort. No other organ commits more sins, but we should be the exception!
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